My Not-So Miracle Bra

I broke down and went and got professionally fitted for a bra. For a well endowed girl, the is a huge necessity. And I had heard all these wonderful things about those high priced bras and I finally broke down and bought one. But before I tell you about the results, I've got to tell you about the fitting.

First, I thought there was no modesty in child birth...the same goes for a bra fitting. They go right into the room with you and measure you and check everything out! (And let me add...this fitting was post-baby and I was not yet ready to share my road map with anyone else!) Then they leave you there while they go and get a whole mess of bras to try on. Then they teach you 'how to put on a bra'. I know...I didn't think it was rocket science either, but apparently it's an 'art form'. I say this is more like a workout! I was sweating by the end of it!

You see, first you must put on the bra and then you bend over until your body is in an angled position. Then you must take your right arm and reach around your left side and grab your "back fat" (yes, she said back fat) and pull it forward and tuck it in your bra. I looked at the lady and told her there wasn't a bra big enough to hold all my fat! But she insisted that this would give me that smooth effect. Then you do the same to the right side. Then you stand up and 'fluff' the girls. This left my girls touching my chin just about! But I have to admit they were standing at attention and I did have a waist for the first time in my life. But by the end of the day, I was hating life. I just don't think there's a comfortable bra for busty girls. I mean honestly, I think anytime you're carrying around 10 pound weights...you're going to be uncomfortable. If I'm wrong, please enlighten me. I'm willing to try anything!

So for now, I'll just hold onto my deal with Frank...tucked, sucked, and lifted.....