Being a Mom is Not All Glitz and Glamour

Here's My Disclaimer before I get a ton of comments suggesting that I am not thankful for having my little man: Let me first state that I am THRILLED to be a mom! I am so unworthy of the incredible blessing that was bestowed upon me and I would not trade it for the world! And I realize that this blessing is not something everyone receives, and I am very thankful for my sweet, sweet little boy.

Now that I have given my disclaimer, let's get down to business. When you are pregnant, no one tells you how hard being pregnant is. I mean, let's be honest. Pregnancy, like motherhood is not Glitz and Glamour. The changes your body goes through...it's like an alien has taken over and your body does things you never knew were imaginable. And just to spare you the details, some are quite disgusting. But you finally get through the 40 weeks...yes 40...someone miscounted when they said 9 months of pregnancy because it's more like 10....but anyways back to my ramblings...you finally make it through the 40 weeks of pregnancy and you think you are home free. You are going to get to take back ownership of your body and WHAM!

To all the new moms out there...THEY LIED TO YOU AGAIN! You will never have your body back. In fact, I don't even recognize mine. All I know is it looked like I was growing a line backer in my belly and instead, a tiny little 7 pounder came out. But as if the pregnancy memories didn't scar my brain forever, now I have a map of the United States permanently etched on my stomach. That's right folks, I-95 runs straight through my belly button. And if that map isn't clear enough for you, you can check out the one on my legs! I had a few veins before, but WOW! (I know, I know...This is Too Much Information. If you want to stop reading now I won't get mad.) And then there's the case of gravity taking over way to early. I chose to nurse Tyler for almost 5 months and now I resemble my grandmother...if you get what I am saying. I've tried that $100 bra that Oprah recommends to try to hold the girls up and I should have just burned that money. Oprah and I apparently have very different genes! (and the whole bra fitting for one of those fancy smanshy bras is a whole ordeal too...I'll get to that later) I've determined that if I want to get these girls back in place then I'll need a rope and a pulley system! And we're not even going to talk about my back side because I refuse to look. I believe that God knew what he was doing when he put eyes in the front of our head instead of the back! He doesn't WANT you to look back there!

I am not a huge plastic surgery supporter and I don't have any desire to be Barbie. But I did like my curvy, non-stretch mark, tankini wearing pre-baby body. And as many of you know, it's still wasn't a really pleasant site to see, but you know...I was somewhat happy with it. I'll tell you pre-baby looked like a super model compared to post baby! So the deal I have with Frank is after baby #2...which is not coming anytime soon unless God has different plans....Momma is getting tucked, sucked, and lifted. And then when I can comfortably fit back into a tankini (and it can still be a double digit size) without feeling like I'm wearing a moo-moo, then maybe he can get a pontoon boat :-)

And now that I have scared all the new moms, I will tell you the one thing you always hear that is true...My Little Guys is worth ever gripe and complaint I have about my new body. Because at the end of the day, he loves me just the way I am.