I go back to work in a week. I will have taken a total of 7 weeks of maternity leave, and yet it feels like I've only been home a week. Next Thursday is the dreaded day...not the work part...but it's the first day I will drop my sweet baby off at daycare.
What's got me so sad is that I went by the daycare today and sat in the room he will be staying in and talked to the ladies that will be keeping him. I stayed for about an hour. The ladies could not have been any nicer and you could tell they really love the babies. But as I sat and rocked Tyler he just looked back at me with his sweet eyes and I suddenly felt my eyes welling up with tears. Just thinking about me coming to this room next week and leaving him there was enough to make me cry. I am going to be a basket case next week!
I keep telling myself that Tyler will learn so much by me doing this. He will learn to play with other children. He will learn to be independent. He will learn to sociable. And I keep telling myself that it will be good for me to get back to work to. To get some adult time. To have a sense of accomplishment. These are all things I keep telling myself, but yet I still feel like an awful mother. I feel like I am abandoning my child. I feel like he is still so tiny and he needs his momma. I feel like no one could possibly take care of him the way I can...because I am his mom. I'm all he has known for the nine months I carried him and for the short 6 weeks he has been here. And now I am leaving him. My mind tells me one thing, but my heart tells me something completely different because it is breaking in a million pieces.
Senior Year
5 months ago
6 comments:
Angie,
I remember going through the same thing. Only after a week I couldn't do it. Now though, I sometimes wish I had. I love that my mom keeps Jayce-but the down side is that a grandparent spoils them...so while the daycare ladies aren't mommy they can take great care of him. He will be fine and we will learn patience, social skills, and so much more.
I don't have experience but I can only imagine what it will be like. Know that I will be thinking about you next week and praying that all goes well. It's great that you will only be working 1/2 days your first few days back. Let me know if you need anything.
If it makes you feel any better Noah, Crissy's boy, is way more advanced than Griffin and I know it is b/c of Day Care it teaches them a lot! I know it will be tough I will be praying for you and continue to tell your self those same things It will help and they are true! Much Love Amyp
Angie-
I did not leave Peyton in day care, but I can remember leaving him to come back to work was the worst day I ever had, I thought my heart would break. I dread going through it with Parker because I know it is going to be the same thing. It is hard and I still sometimes tear up when I leave Peyton adn he is three, it is just part of being a mommy. You will do fine, I will be thinking about you beciause I know how hard it is.
You are a GREAT mommy and don't you EVER think any differently! I will be thinking of you! :o)
How is it going this week?
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