Dreading the Day...

I go back to work in a week. I will have taken a total of 7 weeks of maternity leave, and yet it feels like I've only been home a week. Next Thursday is the dreaded day...not the work part...but it's the first day I will drop my sweet baby off at daycare.

What's got me so sad is that I went by the daycare today and sat in the room he will be staying in and talked to the ladies that will be keeping him. I stayed for about an hour. The ladies could not have been any nicer and you could tell they really love the babies. But as I sat and rocked Tyler he just looked back at me with his sweet eyes and I suddenly felt my eyes welling up with tears. Just thinking about me coming to this room next week and leaving him there was enough to make me cry. I am going to be a basket case next week!

I keep telling myself that Tyler will learn so much by me doing this. He will learn to play with other children. He will learn to be independent. He will learn to sociable. And I keep telling myself that it will be good for me to get back to work to. To get some adult time. To have a sense of accomplishment. These are all things I keep telling myself, but yet I still feel like an awful mother. I feel like I am abandoning my child. I feel like he is still so tiny and he needs his momma. I feel like no one could possibly take care of him the way I can...because I am his mom. I'm all he has known for the nine months I carried him and for the short 6 weeks he has been here. And now I am leaving him. My mind tells me one thing, but my heart tells me something completely different because it is breaking in a million pieces.

I Am One of Those Moms

You know the ones I am talking about. Think back to the time before you had kids. You would hear other moms doing baby talk and coming up with silly sounding words for everything and you would roll your eyes and hope they didn't see you...Example: I used to think, "Why don't moms just call it a pacifier?" Well, Tyler doesn't have pacifiers...for some reason I started calling it a Binky. A BINKY!!! What am I thinking?!?!?! And then he has a little blanket with a stuffed puppy attached. What do I call it? It's a Pup Pup of course. And then there's the issue of spit up. Pre-Tyler days, I could not understand how a mom could walk around with spit up on their shirt. Well I have joined them. As long as I can rub it in, who cares. I do good to get a decent shower, so little spit up doesn't bother me one bit. And then there's the stinky diapers. Why are we so fascinated with poop? Probably b/c I never knew it could come in so many colors!!! It's like a rainbow!

And my mind has turned to mush! I used to believe this was just an excuse. You know, women who say that they lost their mind once they had kids. We'll my mind is so lost I would probably have to fly half way across the world to retrieve it. Actually, it's probably floating in outer space somewhere. I can get up to walk in the kitchen and then I can't remember why I went there. The other day I told someone I was coming over to pick up something. Well Tyler had a stinky diaper and by them time I changed him I had forgotten. She called an hour later to see if I was OK!!! I'm not losing my mind...it's already lost...gone and never to return.

All those years of college and work and I have resorted to spit up, Binky's, Pup Pups, and discussing how poop can be orange, yellow, green, lime green, etc. But its the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I couldn't be happier. I'm off to look at more poop now. I wonder what color it will be this time?

That is Good Sleep!

Tyler loves to nap. And he is so cute when he does it. He loves sprawling out and throwing his legs up on something. I've just noticed that I have been taking a lot of pictures of him sleeping because he is so darn cute! So I hope these put a smile on your face.

Somehow, he wiggled out of the wedge that is supposed to keep him in place, and then he threw his legs on it! He slept like this for 2 hours!

He took a nap in our bed and wiggled into his Daddy's spot and slept so peacefully. Anytime he is having trouble falling asleep, we lay him in the spot and he goes right to sleep.

This was his Sunday afternoon nap today. I don't know what he was hiding from, but he covered his eyes so he didn't see :-)

Who Does Tyler Look Like?

Sorry Frank...I win. Not by much, but I still win.

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

What You've All Been Waiting For...

I Love Being a Mom!

I know it's taken me a while, but I have just been ooohhing and ahhhing over my sweet little boy. He's 3 weeks old today! I can't believe it. He's just the sweetest most precious baby and I am still in awe that he's ours. He's such a good baby. He's sleeping through the night most of the time, and if he does wake up, it's just once and he's up long enough to eat and then back to sleep. And he likes to sleep in like his momma! We usually crawl out of bed around 10! I know...this may all change, but I am loving every minute of it while it last.

My first mother's day was wonderful. Frank and I laid in the bed with the baby until 11! Tyler doesn't sleep with us, but sometimes in the morning we'll put him in the bed with us. It was so sweet. And I got another slide charm for the bracelet that Tyler gave me when he was born. I know...he's a quick shopper! And I got a rather interesting mother's day card...it had a little 'chocolate' baby on the front. Frank swears he's just tanned, but he is definitely 'chocolate'. I have never laughed so hard in my life. But at least I'll always remember my first card.

I am loving every minute of motherhood. He's such a good baby. And he gives me the sweetest little looks. And he does the sweetest thing right now. When I put him on my shoulder to burp him, he rubs my back with his hand. It's so sweet. I just love every minute with him.

Completely Smitten!!!

I am HEAD OVER HEELS in LOVE!!!

Completely Smitten with the new man in my life. He's absolutely gorgeous...perfect...pure sweetness! I just sit and stare in amazement of how much I love this little guy. He's more perfect than I could have ever dreamed of...and the best part is I am HIS MOMMY! I am just in awe of this little blessing that God has give us. I'll post more pictures in the next few days, but until then, allow me to introduce you to our handsome little guy.

First "Family Picture"

My Pride and Joy...Oh How You've Already Changed My Life!